Loss

There is only so much a family should have to handle in one week, don't you think? For ours it was the crazy emotional high of a BFP (big fat positive - as in pregnant) followed five days later by the gut-wrenching low of a miscarriage.

I woke up Wednesday morning, saw blood, and that was that. Sobbing, I went looking for Brian, who was covered in sweat on our back patio, having just come home from his early-morning run. We were reeling for one day, but the hard part was the second day, when it seemed as if I was supposed to be done with the whole thing - except that I wasn't done. I was a wreck. I was angry. I was sad.

Today? I am really doing so much better. A pregnancy loss is incredibly painful, but I do think it's much easier at five weeks than it would be at even six or eight weeks. I'm grateful for that and I'm ready to move on and try again.

Let's back up

So, yes, we are ready for a No. 2. But right now the kid we have is plenty of challenge and plenty of fun. Lily is 2 years and 3 weeks old, and I am proud to say she is about 90% potty trained. So proud of her! So here's how our morning started:

"Lily, do you want to use the potty?"

"No thanks."

"Okay. Well, mommy has to use the potty."

Mommy goes potty.

"Good job, mama!"

"Thanks, Lily. Now what do I do?"

I'm thinking she should answer with something about washing my hands. Instead:

"Play!"

And it isn't quite 6 in the morning. Happy Saturday!

The first one

I've never really understood the whole blog-thing. Who has time to sit around and read about other people's random musings? But my life is different now. I am a mom. And while I was kinda high-strung before, I am full-blown nuts now. So I find myself having random musings that I really want to share - and in the end I guess I don't really care if anyone wants to hear it.

Of course, at this single moment in time no random musings are there. I am just sitting here alone in our dark living room with a glass of cold wine sitting next to me on the couch. No noise but the whir of the air conditioning. And now the door to my two-year-old's room that just cracked open. Uh-oh.

Kid back in bed.

So the news of the day is mainly that I'm sitting here starting my blog while my husband is out with some friends having a few beers. The hope is that when he comes home we will hit the sack, have some fun, and ... tada! ... a new baby will be here in about 10 months. All we need is said husband. Un-drunk. And me. Awake. I'll keep you posted.